dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
