please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My dick has a subreddit
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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