Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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