im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
