Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize