they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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