my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it's great music for shaving your balls
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
