Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
