new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so let's talk penis.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
