I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
