never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
