Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
