I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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