Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
