you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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