Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
