it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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