She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
