grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
