You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
