You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
