ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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