Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
one two three fourrrrnication!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
