he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
