so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
