I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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