so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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