You're so nebulous sometimes
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
