The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize