I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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