Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
