I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
