you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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