Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
