A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
