Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
