Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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