btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I touched a dick in church today
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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