If i come over, it means nothing
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
