Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
