3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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