I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
