im gay
i know
yea but for you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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