wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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