just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you didnt know i had herpes?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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