found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
