We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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