The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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