I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
