I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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