omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
this hospital has no fireball
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
