You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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