Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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