lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
