I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
