I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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