like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize