and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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