I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
