Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think my fart just growled at me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
